Boys 7 to 11 – they see, they do!
Karen Painter • 10 October 2020
AB de Villiers talks about teaching seven-year-olds how to become non-violent citizens of SA
Words Fanie Heyns
CAPE TOWN. – One of South Africa’s greatest sporting icons and an ambassador of 1000 Women Trust, AB de Villiers, has joined the fight against gender-based violence and has encouraged the fathers and mothers of the nation to share important values with their young children in order to build non-violent societies.
The 1000 Women Trust is one of the organisations leading the fight against gender-based violence. The organisation empowers women and girls to speak up, while helping them find their own solutions to combat violence against women and girls. The 1000 Women Trust inspires, educates, lobbies and equips women and girls with the tools to act and respond to gender-based violence. While empowering girls to fend for themselves are important, learning how to talk to and better equip boys to grow into respectable men, are equally important.
What are the vital ingredients of the parental manual when teaching boys aged 7 to 11 on how to embrace their masculinity and treat girls with respect and kindness?
De Villiers, a former national captain and one of the greatest cricketers ever on the global stage, knows all about leading by example, and that is exactly what he encourages parents to demonstrate. Says De Villiers: “As men and fathers, we need to lead by example and show our sons how to respect women. We need to realize how our actions and words might be destructive and harmful to women.
“Children learn a lot from what they see. How we behave is likely to be how they will behave in society. For me, it is most important for men and fathers to lead by example in order to guide your son to respect themselves and others.”
“Children learn a lot from what they see. How we behave is likely to be how they will behave in society.”
As a former captain, De Villiers believes that difficult conversations with your son is fundamentally important.
“Positive interactions between father and son can lead to healthy conversations. Even if that conversation includes difficult subjects such as respect, masculinity, and abuse. Even when they are still young, we need to create opportunities to speak to our sons about their role as men and how important that role in society is. As difficult as these conversations might be, we cannot ignore them. That is why a healthy relationship with your child helps immensely to have these difficult yet essential discussions with them.”
But what other elements must be present in our “parental manual” when unlocking pearls of wisdom to guide our young boys to become positive leaders and non-violent residents of South Africa?
Firstly, make them understand that everybody is worthy of respect, and is perfect. Remind them to respect someone else’s body and not to make fun of other people.
Explain to your child how they must look after their own bodies and take care of it by eating healthy, by exercising, and by daily hygiene.
Remind your child that they can say no and stop and explain when to use these words. Explain that each body is different and that we don’t develop at the same time. Do not compare your body with someone else’s body. Respect your body and do not allow anyone to touch your body without your permission.
Secondly, feelings and emotions are real . Everybody is allowed to have feelings; help your child to explain their feelings by using words. Remind them it is okay to cry or talk about their feelings – especially boys. Your child might feel scared, sad, confused, angry, happy, or excited. Acknowledge their feelings and teach them they should be aware of others’ feelings as well. Teach them to respect other’s feelings and how they can support others.
Equip them with the knowledge on how to deal with their feelings. If they are feeling angry, they can draw or write in a “feelings book”, kick or throw a ball or ask to be alone for a few minutes. Do not punish them for feeling angry, rather help them to process and understand their feelings. Make time to listen to your children when they talk about their feelings. Create a safe environment where they can talk about their emotions.
Thirdly, the way your child feels about themselves will determine how they treat other people. You play a critical role in building your child’s self-image and the way they see themselves.
Remind them that all people are different and that they are perfect the way they are. Teach them body acceptance and self-love and remind them that what they see on social media, does not portray real people and real life.
Help your child to feel useful and important by giving them responsibilities. Assign specific chores to them and thank them when they have completed it. Speak words of affirmation. Tell your child that they are loved, that you are proud of them.
Acknowledge when they have completed a task or when they were brave enough to attempt something, even if it failed. Acknowledge your child. Listen to them and ask them for their opinion.
Fourthly, explain to your children the value of relationships . Friendship and romantic relationships mean having different feelings. Talk to your child to have realistic expectations because what they might have seen on social media do not portray real life.
Don’t make fun of their romantic feelings towards somebody else. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and explain that feelings are not always mutual.
Explain consent to your child. For example, if they want to hug someone, they must ask the other person first. Or if they want the other person to be their romantic friend, they must ask the other person first if that person feels the same way.
Emphasize that they must accept the other person’s decision if they do not want to be friends or romantically involved.
Talk to them about positive friendships and that friends care about each other. They do not say hurtful or negative things and do not make the other person feel uncomfortable. Talk to them about bullying, what it is, and what to do if they feel they are bullied.
If your child asks questions about sex, answer honestly, and as simple as possible. Do not volunteer for more information than what they ask but be honest and clear.
Emphasize consent.
Important: If you suspect your child has a crush on someone or that someone may be romantically interested in them, look for opportunities to speak about relationships, but keep it light and use everyday examples in how we interact in a positive and caring manner with each other.
Fifthly, allow your child to participate in sports and events they are interested in without labelling it as a girl or boy sport. Be mindful of the words you use. For example, do not use phrases like “boys don’t cry” or “your throw like a girl.” Teach them that their ‘no’ is as powerful as the ‘no’ of an adult and that they are allowed to say no when they do not feel comfortable.
Teach them that all people are equal , no matter their job, race, sexual orientation, gender or age.
Lead by example by treating everyone with respect and care. Be mindful of how you talk to other people, including their friends, parents, and teachers.
Assign chores evenly and thank your children when they have done their chores. Create an environment where genders are equal and are there to support each other.
Bullying on the rise: zero tolerance the best deterrent, says Thiart Over the past few weeks multiple incidents of school violence and bullying have gone viral on social media. Western Cape Education is probing a case where a Grade 8 pupil was ambushed inside a toilet. In another incident an 18-year-old pupil was attacked after school, sustaining injuries to her face. The mother of a Grade 8 pupil assaulted by a group of older boys who ambushed him inside a toilet, pushed his head into a toilet bowl, and smeared his face and uniform with faeces has taken the matter to the police, who have assigned a detective to investigate. (Source: news24.com , 11 th February 2025) After the humiliating incident at Leiden High School in Delft on 31 January, videos and pictures were posted on social media platforms. Education activists, fellow parents and some pupils of the school have since called for the school's principal to intervene and suspend those involved in the horrific bullying. Pretty Nketu, the mother of the victim, said since the school appeared to show no concern for her son, failed to keep her updated and did not inform her of steps that would be taken against the alleged perpetrators, she decided to go to the police herself. "My son was covered in human faeces and left to fend for himself. He was not even allowed to clean himself up and was told to wait for me till I came to bring him clean clothes. Nketu said: He had to stand next to a dirt bin while flies buzzed around him, and pupils laughed and took photos of him. Do you know how embarrassing that is to any child? He did not deserve this. And this is why I got the police involved. She said the police told her that a detective would be assigned to her son's case and those responsible would face the full might of the law. Western Cape police spokesperson Lieutenant Colonel Malcolm Pojie said both the mother and child were present at the Delft police station to register a case of common assault for further investigation. "Preliminary information reveals that the victim, a boy, asked for permission to go to the toilet, and as he left [the toilet], four boys grabbed him and forced him into the toilet. "They forced his face into the toilet bowl and washed his face with waste from the toilet," Pojie said. The police said no arrests have been made and that the matter is under investigation. In Asherville in KZN, three pupils were left injured after an alleged racially fuelled fight outside a high school. In Joburg, a mother rushed to school after she received a call from her daughter who . On Wednesday morning 5 th February, a protest was held outside the school in Delft. Parents, pupils, and community members called for the principal to be removed from the school for failing to properly address the incident.. "Those perpetrators are still among the [pupils], still walking in and out of the school and showing no remorse. It's upsetting to us as a family that my son is at home, yet the perpetrators are still in the school," Nketu said. Tina Thiart, co-founder and director of 1000 Women Trust, one of the leading organizations in the fight against bullying and gender-based violence in the county, said according to statistics, a staggering 3.2 million children in South African Schools are bullied annually. “Since the inception of our anti-bullying campaigns in 2018, we have compiled an anti-bullying toolkit to be used by schools and parents. We started off in the Western Cape, but also branched out to the Northern Cape, Limpopo and the Free State. To date, more than 7000 children, teaches and parents have benefited from the anti-bullying course material which we have shared with them the past seven years,”” Thiart said. Thiart warned that cyberbullying is rife in SA schools. According to a recent survey, more than three children out of 10 have been cyerstalked or been a victim of online shaming or revenge porn. Thiart said in a trauma-informed school, the best deterrent to bullying and cyberbullying is to create a culture of acceptance and communication. Such a culture empowers learners to find positive ways to resolve conflicts and has an administration, teachers and other staff who can support learners in making constructive decisions and respond proactively when the aggression of any kind exists on the school campus. An important first step to take for schools, is to establish an anti-bullying and a zero-tolerance policy at schools, said Thiart. “In addition we need to create awareness of cyberBullying as young people do not understand how cyberbullying and using your phone can be harmful to people. It is also a crime,” warned Thiart. For more information on what 1000 Women Trust is doing, visit www.bullying.org.za , visit the website on www.1000women.co.za or send Thiart a whatsupp on 061-4690479 if you want your school or teachers or parents to do the anti-bullying course.
1000 Women Trust creates 24-hour safe house in Nyanga-East as pilot of Project Orange One small step for Project Orange, one giant leap for the national GBV-Warriors initiative…The women-led organization 1000 Women Trust, who has answered a national outcry from communities to create safe spaces for victims of gender-based violence in the critical 24 hour-period after an attack, has provided the materials needed for a safe room and advice office for Nomonde Ngwenyana in Nyanga-East as the first installment of the national initiatives to equip offices in more provinces with the necessary infrastructure to empower GBV-Warriors and help suffering women. In August 2024, 1000 Women Trust launched a national GBV-Warriors-campaign and Project Orange to provide critical support to women and children severely impacted by gender-based violence, particularly within the crucial first 24 hours after an attack. Gender-based violence in South Africa is rife. Daily, 114 women in South Africa are attacked and 170 women are sexually assaulted. Tina Thiart, executive trustee of 1000 Women Trust, said through interviews conducted with 500 community women in 2023, it was established that there is desperate need for safe spaces for women especially during the 24-hours after gender-based violence occurred. The GBV-Warriors are foot soldiers who are on the ground in communities, providing crucial support to abused women. They are women who have completed trauma and anti-bully training, facilitated #HearMeToo sessions, partnered with social workers or counsellors, have worked closely with police and have organized GBV awareness initiatives in the community, said Thiart. Project Orange, in essence, is the availability of rooms managed by trained GBV-Warriors in the community who will establish a comfortable and welcoming environment to women who are victims of GBV. There they will receive assistance in these rooms before transitioning to service providers the next day, like shelters and Thuthuzela Care Centres. But the GBV-Warriors, who have an astute knowledge of the rights of the victims, will also accompany these victims to the police stations, where, historically, GBV-victims have suffered secondary victimization. They will also aid them at courts when these women are in need of protection orders. Bianca Charles, office manager of 1000 Women Trust, said the Trust reached out to Ngwenyana in Nyanga-East and created a 24 hour emergency safe house as pilot of Project Orange. “We also provided all the material that Ngewenyana needed for a peace corner where children of abused woman can play,” she said. Ngwenyana did the trauma training course of 1000 Women Trust which equips her to assist victims of GBV. She also did the Trust’s anti-bully course. She received coaching through the First Responder-course of 1000 Women Trust. “We also provided Ngwenyana with bedding, curtains, toiletry and care packs for women who might visit the 24-hour emergency safe house in her home,” Charles said. “The next steps we are taking is to roll out this project to Kalkfontein in Kuils River, in Beaufort West and Gauteng,” Charles said. The funder of the project, Gender Links Women’s Voice and Leadership South Africa, was thrilled by what they witnessed and is happy to endorse this vital project, Charles said. Ngwenyana said Nyanga-East is a gender-based violence hotspot and the Project Orange- and GBV-Warriors-initiative to create a safe space for women subjected to gender-based violence is much-needed to help so many women suffering. “Especially during the weekends in Nyanga-East, there are women who want to stay overnight as this is a violent area. I give them an opportunity to stay there and also have something to eat. Obviously I offer advice. “The one challenge I have, is that I encourage them to report GBV to the police. When they come to my home, they are willing to do that. But the following day, they almost never follow through on their promises,” said Ngwenyana. The 1000 Women Trust is a registered Trust focusing on fundraising and creating awareness for domestic and gender-based violence (GBV) and abuse. They believe that if women have access to knowledge, skills, and resources, they will find their own solutions to combat violence against women and girls. For more information, contact the Trust on info@1000women.co.za or phone us on 061-4690479.
1000 Women Trust’s anti-bullying course starts on 20 th January The women-led organization 1000 Women Trust, one of South Africa’s most trusted empowerment hubs equipping schools, parents, learners and community leaders with the skills to eradicate bullying, are inviting teachers, parents and community leaders to a new anti-bullying training course. The course, only on Whatsapp, will start on 20 th January. In 2024, 1000 Women Trust provided its anti-bullying training to 2981 parents and teachers, totalling over 6000 participants to date. This initiative is vital, given the alarming statistic that nearly 90% of childhood bullies become perpetrators of gender-based violence. Addressing GBV at its root cause is imperative. According to HJW Attorneys, more than 3.2 million learners are bullied in South Africa annually, and more than 67% of bully victims will not ask a teacher for help because they don’t think it will change their situation. In total, 90% of school bullying is carried out by learners. A total of 160 000 high-school learners bunk school daily to avoid being bullied. 1000 Women Trust has established a footprint in several South African provinces aiding schools and educational departments when bullying has been rife. There has been high praise for the quality of 1000 Women Trust’s anti-bullying courses and its pamphlets in Limpopo, the Western Cape, the Free State and other provinces. 1000 Women Trust is a South African Women's Rights Organisation dedicated to combating gender-based violence and femicide (GBVF). For over two decades, we've been empowering GBV Community Organisations nationwide, advocating for change and resilience. For more information, contact the office on info@1000women.co.za or on 061-4690479.
1000 Women Trust launch counselling training for Warriors, GBV-survivors The women-led organization 1000 Women Trust, in partnership with NPO Solutions, has launched a ground-breaking counselling training which will empower GBV-Warriors and GBV-survivors with the skills to serve communities even better in 2025. The counselling training is accredited by the Quality Council for Trades and Occupations (QCTO). “We invite all 1000 Women GBV-Warriors and GBV-survivors to sign up for the accredited training, which will start – part-time online and on Whatsupp, on 6 th February,” said Tina Thiart, co-founder of 1000 Women Trust. A councillor is a health professional who provides guidance and support to clients seeking improvement in various areas of their lives. They work with individuals, families of groups, assisting them in navigating diverse circumstances, depending upon their specialized area of practice they are qualified to perform. “The fully accredited training by 1000 Women Trust for the GBV-Warriors will assist them in providing mental health services to women who are survivors of GBV and who seek a safe space for help, but also counselling to deal with trauma,” said Thiart. “Once the GBV-Warriors complete the course, they can register as counsellors,” Thiart added. 1000 Women Trust launched the GBV-Warriors campaign to provide critical support to women and children severely impacted by gender-based violence, particularly within the crucial first 24 hours after an attack. Gender-based violence in South Africa is rife. Daily, 114 women in South Africa are attacked and 170 women are sexually assaulted. Thiart said through interviews conducted with 500 community women in 2023, it was established that there is desperate need for safe spaces for women especially during the 24-hours after gender-based violence occurred. The GBV-Warriors are foot soldiers who are on the ground in communities, providing crucial support to abused women. They are women who have completed trauma and anti-bully training, facilitated #HearMeToo sessions, partnered with social workers or counsellors, have worked closely with police and have organized GBV awareness initiatives in the community, said Thiart. The counselling course that starts in February will expand the bouquet of skills that the GBV-Warriors possess, but it is vital to understand that the counselling course is not limited to the Warriors. “Any GBV-survivor can also complete the course and we would like them to join,” Thiart said. The GBV Warriors form part of 1000 Women Trust’s comprehensive, nation-wide strategy to establish GBV Community Advice Offices in vulnerable communities. They offer physical safety, emotional support, and guidance to survivors of GBV. The 1000 Women Trust is a Women’s Rights Organisation operating in South Africa, dedicated to raising awareness about gender-based violence and femicide (GBVF) while providing capacity-building to GBV community organisations. For more information, contact the office on info@1000women.co.za , or phone 061-4690479.
PRESS RELEASE ON BEHALF OF 1000 WOMEN TRUST: 25th NOVEMBER 2024 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Wearing orange, hosting awareness events part of campaign to mobilize communities during 16 Days Wearing orange and hosting awareness events are part of the women-led organization 1000 Women Trust’s plan of action for 16 Days of Activism to mobilize community involvement to eradicate the scourge of gender-based violence, said Tina Thiart, co-founder of 1000 Women Trust. “Empower every voice: Unite for Change is the theme of 1000 Women Trust’s campaign during the 16 Days of Activism,” said Thiart. “The focus will be to encourage action at all levels of society and promoting support for change,” she said. “This year, 1000 Women Trust emphasizes the power of collective action and the importance of every individual’s contribution to end gender-based violence,” said Thiart. “We invite you to join us or be innovative, create a meaningful way of showing solidarity or making a difference in the communities. “A total of 7.84 million women in South Africa have been subjected to physical and sexual violence, according to the Human Science Research Council-findings of the first SA national gender-based violence study of 2022 released on Monday 18 th November 2024,” said Thiart. “In order to address this alarming situation, we need more community involvement,” said Thiart. “We are encouraging everyone to wear orange, the colour symbolizing a brighter future free from violence and sharing photos on social media with hashtags like #EmpowerEveryVoice and #UniteForChange.” The Trust also wants to partner with local businesses and government during16 Days. There are many ways that companies can raise awareness and encourage employees to engage in communities, said Thiart. One way might be to light up landmarks in orange in solidarity against gender-based violence. 1000 Women Trust is inviting communities to arrange social events or discussion groups during each of the 16 Days of Activism – to create a safe space to discuss gender-based violence, while wearing orange to show solidarity with victims of gender-based violence, said Thiart. “At social events, we want to encourage survivors to share their stories, either in person or through videos, to create awareness and inspire action,” Thiart said. 1000 Women Trust plan to host workshops during the 16 Days to prevent gender-based violence and promote human rights, in partnership with its GBV-Warriors. The Trust trained GBV-Warriors to assist victims of gender-based violence in the crucial 24 hours following an attack in order to offer safe spaces to the affected women and also assist them the following day to access Thuthuzela Care Centres or open a case at a police station. “We also will mobilize support during 16 Days for the GBV-Warriors though donations and volunteerism,” said Thiart. “We also aim to foster unity, a sense of community and collective responsibility in the eradication of gender-based violence and to grow the 1000 Women Network,” Thiart said. Thiart says 1000 Women Trust will kick-off the 16 Days of Activism-campaign by encouraging everybody to wear orange on Day One in solidarity against gender-based violence. Everyone of the 16 days will have a specific theme and call to action. On day 2 on 26 th November the theme will revolve around what to do when you suspect that a child is abused. Over 106 000 rape cases and 22,000 sexual assault cases involving children have been reported over the last six financial years, and therefore the community involvement is crucial to stop this, said Thiart. The community can help by looking for signs like physical injuries, poor hygiene, and behavioural changes like when a child is withdrawing or expressing excessive fear. You can report immediately by contacting your local child protection services, a social worker or the police, or visit the helpline of the Trust on 061-4690479. On the 27 th November 1000 Women Trust will discuss the key amendments to GBV-laws including the Criminal Law Amendment bill, ensuring that survivors are informed about their rights. On Day eight, or 2 nd December, the 1000 Women Trust will focus on how complainants can react when police officers refuse to open a case against perpetrators of GBV. Every person has a right to report a case and the police are legally obliged to open a case and investigate. The complainant can also write down the officer’s name and badge number and lodge a complaint with the independent police investigative directorate or other oversight bodies. Women who are refused assistance, can also liaise with 1000 Women Trust, and with their GBV Warriors who are expertly trained to assist them when dealing with uncooperative police officers. “We believe that through these actions on each day, we are assisting the community in challenging gender-based violence. “ For example, secondary victimization at police offices is one of the main reasons why law enforcement agencies do not form an effective deterrent against domestic violence,” Thiart said. The 1000 Women Trust is a South African organization that aims to end gender-based violence (GBV) and femicide. To contact the Trust, send a mail to info@1000women.co.za or call the Trust on 061-4690479. Press release compiled by Fanie Heyns on behalf of 1000 Women Trust. For more information, contact Tina Thiart on 073-2079079.
HSRC’s findings of scale of GBV conservative due to women not reporting the crime’ Considerably more women experienced physical and sexual violence in South Africa than the 7,84 million that was revealed by the Human Science Research Council (HSRC) in its findings on the first South African National Gender-Based Violence study of 2022. That is because 60 % of SA women do not report gender-based violence for fear of secondary victimization, says Tina Thiart, co-founder of the women-led organization 1000 Women Trust. 33.1% of all women aged 18 years and older are vulnerable to physical violence in their lifetime, according to the HSRC-findings of the first SA national gender-based violence study of 2022 presented to minister Sindisiwe Chikunga on Monday 18 th November 2024. Among all women, 9.8% (an estimated 2 150 342 women) have experienced sexual violence in their lifetime. The combined physical and sexual violence prevalence in the country is 35.5%, which translates to 7.84 million women. Thiart said that figure could be considerably higher. Many SA women simply do not report physical of sexual gender-based violence for fear of reprisal by their boyfriends or husbands, or because of the secondary victimization that these women face at police stations. “In 2020, 2021 and 2022, 1000 Women Trust, and the WE DARE-team (acronym for Women’s Equality; Digital Access and the Right to Expression), led by Prof Mollie Painter of the Nottingham School of Business, did research on multiple gender-based violence-related matters, including the patters of reporting by SA women. We established that 60 % of all women affected by gender-based violence, do not report the crime,” said Thiart. “Recently, a police-officer at the Delft Police station’s community service centre, for example, turned away a rape victim and demanded that the survivor brings a witness before a case can be opened, Thiart said. Dr Genine Josias, medical coordinator at the Thuthuzela Clinical Forensic Centre at the Karl Bremer Hospital, said on Facebook that a person reported the rape at the police station in Delft, a GBV-hotspot in the Western Cape. The police officer questioned why the victim waited so long to open a case and then told the survivor to bring a witness before the case can be opened. Apparently, the witness walked in on the crime but was not available to accompany the survivor to the police station, so the victim and the witness returned to Delft police station the following morning, Dr Josias said. She said these wrong actions by the police is not an isolated incident but happens repeatedly and affects rape-survivors as some of the traumatized victims might decide not to return the next day. “The police must open the case immediately and should not be asking rape survivors for witnesses. They also should not question why they waited 48 hours as many victims suffer severe trauma and don’t report it immediately.” said Dr Josias. “Often women who are unaccompanied, suffer at police stations and in many instances no case is opened by the police, Thiart said. That prompted1000 Women Trust to launch the GBV-Warriors-campaign to provide critical support to women and children severely impacted by gender-based violence, particularly within the crucial first 24 hours after an attack to ensure that there are safe spaces for women immediately after an attack. The GBV-Warriors, who have an astute knowledge of the rights of the victims, accompany these victims to the police stations, where, historically, GBV-victims have suffered secondary victimization, said Thiart. Dr Nadia Bernon, a GBV-Warrior of 1000 Women Trust and gender activist in KwaZulu-Natal, says secondary victimization at police stations are real. “That is why victims don’t even report cases because they have lost hope in the law and the way they are treated and that is why victims are now making civil society organizations that focuses on GBV their first responders. “The problem is that police stations don’t have a gender-based violence desk and few police officers and police vehicles strictly for GBV-related matters or incidents and they don’t make GBV-cases a priority. They give it less attention,” Bernon said. “Unless there is structural reform of the SA Police Service, the police will not act as an effective deterrent to perpetrators of gender-based violence,” said Thiart. The 1000 Women Trust is a South African organization that works to end gender-based violence (GBV) and femicide. For more information, contact 1000 Women Trust on info@1000women.co.za or phone the Trust on 061-4690479.
Lottering: being a GBV-Warrior of 1000 Women Trust is a mission and calling “I cannot sit idle when I see the verbal, physical and emotional abuse of women in a gender based-violence-hotspot. I came out of a relationship with a man who had narcissistic traits and want to help other women who have to cope without the support of family,” says Marinda Lottering, GBV-Warrior of 1000 Women Trust in Beaufort-West. Lottering, who also runs the organization Movement of Hope, said she suffered physical, financial and emotional abuse at the hands of her husband, and she ended up in a clinic. She divorced him. Now she considers it her mission to help women in a GBV-hotspot like Beaufort-West. “I often witness the pain of women who were subjected to brutal assaults and femicide and I cannot just witness that and do nothing about it,” Lottering says. She is a pivotal part of 1000 Women Trust’s nationwide Project Orange, offering a safe space and emergency accommodation in the critical 24 hours after an attack to women severely impacted by GBV. “If there is one thing all SA men should understand about GBV, is that so many grow up in a home in which the husband abused and battered his wife,” she says. “It was a relationship in which the husband acted as if he was the boss and had the power over her. And the woman stayed in that toxic relationship. We need to break this cycle because these wrong relationships are perpetuated from generation to generation.” Lottering said the change she wants to see in the community over the next five years, is that women should stand united. She also wants boys to be coached properly on how to treat women and girls correctly. The one challenge South Africa urgently needs to take head-on when it comes to GBV is to create safe spaces and havens for women severely impacted by GBV and to empower and up-skill these women to become independent. “We need this as we are operating in an environment where the police are not great, the police officers are not properly trained and too many officers protect male offenders,” she says. How can women join the fight against GBV? “Go to workshops and support groups where they are empowered, so that they can empower their communities.” Asked if she could have one meal for the rest of the life, what she would prefer, Lottering says: “I am a snack person. I love it, but I also enjoy vegetables twice a week.” Where would you travel to if you were allowed to, Lottering was asked: “I think Ireland, because there are opportunities to study for free.” Her dream for 1000 Women Trust is that the government would see the Trust for who they truly are. “They invest more in women than what the government did for many generations. The Trust needs support from government for the indispensable work that they do.” This October, let’s show up for survivors. Your donations of #paint, #cash, #toiletries, or #bedding to Lottering and other GBV-Warriors of 1000 Women Trust will go directly to furnishing these safe havens. Together, we can create real change during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth #1000WomenTrust #SupportSurvivors #GBV #1000Women1Voice #ProjectOrange 1000 Women Trust is a South African Women's Rights Organisation dedicated to combating gender-based violence and femicide (GBVF). For more information, contact the Trust on 061-4690479 or send an email to info@1000women.co.za .
GBV-Warrior Ngwenyana proposes monthly workshops to empower women Nomonde Ngwenyana from Lihle Liphuma is a GBV-Warrior whose tireless community work to assist victims of gender-based violence was kick-started when she saw kids on the streets needing mentoring and direction because their mothers were at home drinking. “A campaign like Project Orange to create safe spaces for women who are fighting abuse is so much needed to assist the community,” says Ngwenyana, a business-owner who empowers many other women. If she could give any woman one piece of advice, it would be to stand together in the fight against gender-based violence. “The police will laugh at you when you report your case. They will not follow up on your case unless you are dead. They are lazy,” she says. What she wants to see established over the next five years, is monthly workshops where women can groom one another to grow as persons and gain new skills, says Ngwenyana. “We require money to finance small projects that can help women with skills development,” she says. “Register on 1000 Women Trust, and get involved in small projects, especially in projects in which you are gifted with,” she says. Ngwenyana has acknowledged the work of Tina Thiart, co-founder of 1000 Women Trust, in mentoring her as a business owner, and she says she is now a proud owner of a seven-room home, where she previously had a house with only three rooms. The name Nomonde Ngwenyana in Nyanga-East is synonymous with Small Beginnings – a shop that sells fish and chips and Amagaga – chicken chunks. She also visits NGOs and schools that invite her to teach people and learners the skills to do beading independently. They pay her for that service. She has recently been contacted by a new NGO to visit them and share her considerable skills with them. Asked how she deals with setbacks, Ngwenyana says it is no use in pondering too long on setbacks. “It is important to get your mind of it at the end of the day, maybe have a glass of wine with your partner and relax,” she says. Asked what talent she has that assists her as GBV-Warrior to support women and offer them a safe space when they have been abused, Ngwenyana says: “One thing I have is that women come to me for advice and they listen when I speak to them. And I have the ability to mobilize them.” She says her dream for 1000 Women Trust is that it would grow and that it would help more women to become powerful. “And my personal dream is to offer more women work so that there would be almost no family without jobs, and therefore no jealousy,” she said. Postscript: It’s time to take real action beyond hashtags and slogans. South Africa has the 3rd highest rape stats— Gender Based Violence (GBV) is a crime, and we’re mobilising to fight back! The 1000 Women Trust is launching a collection drive to support our GBV Advice Offices in key hotspots across the country, as part of #ProjectOrange. We need paint—lots of it! Orange, Navy, White, Black—and supplies like brushes, terps, and trays to transform these offices into safe spaces for survivors. Can you help? This October, let’s show up for survivors. Your donations of #paint, #cash, #toiletries, or #bedding will go directly to furnishing these safe havens. Together, we can create real change during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth #1000WomenTrust #SupportSurvivors #GBV #1000Women1Voice #ProjectOrange. 1000 Women Trust is a women-led organization focused on creating awareness of gender-based violence and femicide. For more information, contact the Trust on 061-4690479 or email the Trust on info@1000women.co.za .
Support required for GBV-Warrior Nadia Bernon as 1000 Women Trust creates safe spaces for women The gaps in service delivery and a lack of gender-sensitivity at police stations and courts hamper the work done to assist women who are survivors of gender-based violence, says Dr Nadia Bernon, GBV-Warrior of 1000 Women Trust and community activist at Newlands East in Durban. Dr Bernon is the founder and director of the Newlands East Humane Society NPO, Rapid Response Team Chairperson on Gender-Based Violence (GBV) – Newlands East, Board member of the KZN Civil Society Organisations Council (CSO) and a GBV-Warrior of 1000 Women Trust creating a safe space for victims of GBV in the critical 24 hours after an attack. “What is dearly needed, is that governmental service providers like the police and the courts need to be more gender-sensitive and they need to be trained to assist survivors of GBV,” says Dr Benon. “One of the solutions would be advice desks at courts and police stations,” said Bernon. “There also need to be more messaging about strengthening the prevention strategies so that gender-based violence is stopped before women are abused,” Dr Benon said. “Not all men are perpetrators but men need to be more gender-sensitive and support groups for men must be created. Many men have not dealt with their past hurts and trauma. In these support groups men must understand that real men do cry,” Bernon said. Bernon grew up in a activist’s home where stranger who were hurting, received help. Her own mother was abused by her father and that is where she developed a passion to support victims of GBV. Bernon said the monumental work done by 1000 Women Trust and its Project Orange to create safe spaces and structure to support women badly affected by GBV, needs financial support from government. “I would like to see this work expanded so that it gets a national footprint more and more,” Dr Bernon says. Dr Bernon is one of several GBV-Warriors who have been working for years and who have made a lasting impact on their communities. They are on the frontlines, combating gender-based violence and creating safe spaces for their neighbours and their neighbours’ neighbours. This October, let’s show up for survivors, for the GBV-Warriors and for Project Orange. Your donations of #paint, #cash, #toiletries, or #bedding will go directly to furnishing these safe havens. Together, we can create real change during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth #1000WomenTrust #SupportSurvivors #GBV #1000Women1Voice #ProjectOrange. The 1000 Women Trust is a women's organizations that aim to raise awareness around Gender-Based Violence, rape and abuse and mobilize resources. These resources make it possible for us to assist women-led organizations with grants and skills development. For more information, contact the Trust on 061-4690479. Or mail the organization on info@1000women.co.za
Police, court dragging their feet to deal with perpetrator of brutal attack on Monaise There has been no justice for Goitsemang Rebone Monaise since a brutal attack by a former family friend which was reported to the police in July 2023. The man attempted to strangle her and also headbutted her. She had to acquire a protection order to safeguard her from more possible attacks. Yet, since the assault with the purpose to inflict serious bodily harm, the case was postponed 10 times and no progress was made, despite overwhelming evidence linking him to this heinous crime, and the presence of friends who witnessed his violent crime. “He was a family friend and we briefly dated when we were in our 30s,” Monaise recalled. “One day in July last year, he made unwanted advances and I told him I am not interested. Subsequently, while I was outside a store with another friend of mine and him, he manhandled me, shoved me to the ground on the pavement side and strangled and choked me till I was running out of air,” she said. “When I recovered from that attack, I went home to fetch his bag and once inside the yard, he grabbed me by my left arm and headbutted me violently. “He also grabbed my hair hard and hung on to my dreadlocks and a friend of mine was not able to help me. I was dazed and in deep pain. I immediately reported the case and also got a protection order against the attacker,” Monaise said. “I did everything in my power and has been sent from pillar to post with no progress made in the case. I have contacted the investigation officer at least 10 times since July. The police seem to underplay the situation and even questioned why I called this gender-based violence as there was no bleeding,” said Monaise. “The attacker then laid a counter charge against me and was granted a protection order against me. I did not even touch him. If I did not lay a charge against him, he would have done nothing,” she said. “The case has just been postponed for an 11 th time until the 11 th November 2024,” said Monaise. Tina Thiart, co-founder of the women-led organization 1000 Women Trust, said one of the main reasons why 53498 sexual offences were reported to the South African Police Services between April 2022 and March 2023 with rape accounting for 42780 of these cases, is that government is lacking the political will to eradicate gender-based violence and femicide. The time between when a case was reported to the police and when a perpetrator is finally convicted of a gender-based violence and femicide related crime is usually five or six years because of the shoddy investigative work by the police and the lack of action by the courts. And because the police and the courts are not pro-active and do not act as effective deterrent against sexual crimes, the scourge of gender-based violence and femicide continue to plague women in South Africa, she said. “What happens to Goitsemang, is a microcosmos of what happens to most women who are victims of gender-based violence. That is one of the reasons why 1000 Women Trust has launched Project Orange and the GBV-Warriors, to assist women attacked by perpetrators of gender-based violence in order to liaise effectively with service providers like the police and the courts in the 24 hours after an attack. “We will follow up on the case of Goitsemang and will put pressure on the investigative officer in association with our sister organizations in Gauteng to ensure that there is not a further postponement to her case,” Thiart said. The 1000 Women Trust is a South African organization that works to end gender-based violence (GBV) and femicide. The organization's mission is to empower women and girls through education, resources, and training. For more information, contact the Trust on 061-4690479 or email us on info@1000women.co.za .
