"Build a body of evidence and create an exit plan. Know where to go, have some savings, and identify who to call. Keep clothes and important documents with someone you trust to assist in the process."
Ntsiki Mkhize, Ambassador 1000 WomenTrust
Over the last month, we’ve shared several light-hearted self-care tips that may have seemed simple on the surface. However, these were more than just feel-good suggestions—they were part of a powerful toolkit designed to help women trapped in abusive relationships prepare for a way out. Today, we present a summary of those tips, highlighting how they can be applied as practical steps to reclaim control of your life.
If you are someone in need, or if you have a friend who is struggling, these steps can provide the focus and preparation required to make the difficult, but necessary, change.
Focusing on Simple Steps
The first two weeks were all about getting focused. We started with simple, do-able actions like making your bed, engaging in physical exercise, and decluttering your space. These small victories are crucial. Why? Because chaos drains you. Starting your day by making your bed gives you a sense of control and accomplishment. It’s not just about tidying up—it’s about creating a space where you can think clearly and begin to rediscover yourself.
Reaching out to friends is equally important. Isolation can make you lose sight of who you are. Connecting with others helps you reconnect with yourself and sparks the beginning of rediscovering who you want to be.
Step 1 is critical: find you.
Sorting Your Life and Admin
Leaving an abusive relationship isn’t easy—it requires planning. In Week 3, we explored tips on getting your admin in order. Make a file for your documents, open a bank account, save money, and get a will in place. Having your finances and essential papers organised ensures that when the time comes to leave, you are ready.
Even if you’re in a happy marriage, this is a life skill every woman should master. Don’t be vulnerable to others taking advantage of you. Know your passwords, where your documents are, and who to call in an emergency. By organising your life now, you prepare for any challenge that may come your way.
Preparing for the Unexpected
In Week 4, we focused on the physical and practical steps you’ll need to take. Pack an emergency go-bag with clothes, food, water, and other essentials. Know where you will go and who to call when you decide to leave. This isn’t just about leaving an abusive partner—it could be a way to cope after a natural disaster or another life-altering event.
Being prepared gives you the strength to act when it matters most.
Empowerment and Advocacy
The final week was also about standing strong. On the 25th of every month, we wear orange to raise awareness and stand against Gender-Based Violence (GBV). Wearing orange signals to those in need that you are a safe person, someone they can trust.
We encouraged you to print helplines, contact support organisations, and make a plan before you leave. Preparation is key. By taking these steps, you’re training your brain to cope and empowering yourself to take control of your future.
A Final Word
Leaving an abusive relationship takes time, courage, and preparation. It may take a month or more to feel ready, but these steps will guide you through the process. Empower yourself by knowing your rights, taking control of your environment, and planning for your safety.
Today, make your bed, and share this guide—you never know, you might be the first step in someone's better tomorrow.
Week 1: Focus and connect
Week 2: Get organised and stay prepared
Week 3: Pack your essentials and be ready for anything
Week 4: Stand strong, advocate for yourself, and wear orange to show you care
You’ve got this. Your better tomorrow starts today.
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Office 108B
Valyland Centre, Ivanhoe Rd, Fish Hoek, Cape Town, 7974
Info@1000women.co.za
0614690479
The 1000 Women Trust
Registered Trust South Africa (IT738/2014)
NPO REGISTRATION NO: 163-132 NPO
PBO NO: 930 051 359
© Copyright 2023| All Rights Reserved. Designed by Ludet Digital for The 1000 Women Trust